IT’S MY BIRTHDAY: MY PERSONAL MANIFESTO

Whoah! What just happened?

I woke up this morning to the sound of a little bird singing to me a happy birthday song. And it was beautiful. Wow! It’s my birthday. My family told me that I was born 18 February 1983 at around 6:45 PM in my village. Yes. That means I am 32 years young, muackrackers.

I remember just like yesterday when I was only but 11 years young and started an oil and gas company (lol, oil and gas company. Yeah, right) selling kerosene in coke and beer bottles to poor people in my village who couldn’t afford much. I remember when one morning 11 years ago, when I woke up and realized I was the brokest guy in Nigeria with only 100 naira to my name, then I cried a little and next thing I knew I began a home delivery laundry service from my home because I didn’t know what else to do (grew and ran that business successfully for about 16 months). When you don’t have money the next most valuable thing you have is creativity. Always leverage on that. I remember when my dream was to be a lawyer and how I got bored  and ditched the whole idea of law after obtaining a Diploma. I remember how I fucked up my Political and Administrative Studies course in the University of Port Harcourt and had to drop out at 300 level.
I remember as a teenager how I would stay up all night dreaming how I was going to change the world. Oh, and I still do.

As you begin to grow up into adult life, life happens and sometimes things don’t execute as you envisioned them or when you envisioned them. You go broke. Sometimes you wonder whether you are still on the right path or whether you should consider a detour. But deep down in the coolest place of your heart, you know that giving up is not a option. Because you are not looking at where you are today but where you are going. And no matter how the road to your destination seems far and rugged you know you are getting closer with every little step.

Many years ago I made a decision that I don’t just want to be another guy who was born and lived in Nigeria. I wanted to make an impact in peoples lives with every little thing that I can offer. Especially young people because I believe that I understand them. So I wrote and published my first book WHO TOOK MY JOB? and currently working on the sequel titled GOOD TO GO: HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS IMMEDIATELY AFTER POP, which should be released in a few months.

I believe that if there is anything that you ever dream of accomplishing you must begin today. The weather will never be right. The resources will never be enough. The product will never be perfect. So you do your thing, and iterate.

In the past 6 months I have been speaking to Corps members in Akwa Ibom, Ebonyi, Sokoto, Rivers and other places and I believe that GOOD TO GO will give a lot of them direction and focus.

I remember many things today. But it is not what I remember today that counts. What I want to count is what I want to remember today in 5 years when I will be 37. So I want to share with you a peep into my personal manifesto. As important as manifestos are to the successes of a political l party, so I believe it is to your personal success. Therefore I highly recommend that you learn to do your own personal manifesto.

Here are little of mine.

1. MARRIAGE. In the past year my mum, sisters and aunts keep asking me “When are you getting married?” Every passing month the question intensifies. So now that I have turned 32 I have begun collecting CVs of ladies since 2 weeks ago. I am now open to be filled. Pls., apply. This is not a joke. Lol.

2. WORK OUT MORE. I have no idea where this pot belle that is growing emanated from. Sexy muackracker like me should have no pot belle. I have begun exercising. Six packs coming soon!

3. READ MORE. The more information that you have the more options and or choices you obtain. If I take away your ability to choose you become powerless and subjected to my whims and caprices. Choice is power. Expose your mind. Read more.

4. FOLLOW MY INSTINCTS. This is an aptitude that most people neglect to their own loss. God put it there in us for us to use. Sometimes you cannot explain something but you just know that it is the right thing to do.

5. HAVE FUN. I want to do things that make me laugh more. And also make others laugh. Laughter can make you rich and help you live younger and healthier. The lack of it can kill you in your sleep.

6. EAT WELL. Some how I have no appreciation for so called ‘fine foods’ but I like to eat well. Some people slump and die at 65 because they failed to eat well when they were younger.

7. IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME. Imagine the other day someone said I was…Life is too short to be bordered about whether people think you are not funny, too short, too tall, too broke, too dark skinned, etc. However, it is also my business what people think of me. Imagine I was out there dancing azonto at the bus station. What would people think of me! C’mon…lol.

8. Repeat after me, DON’T BREAK ANYBODY’S HEART. Just the other day this girl said to me with tears in her eyes ” You are mean. Do you even have conscience? You break my heart, Stanley. I trusted you!” I couldn’t utter a word. What did I do? I ate her peanuts without her permission. Don’t do it fam.

9. DON’T BE A WORRY WART. Worrying has never helped solve any problems. Instead they compound problems. So the first step toward a solution is to stop worrying. Then you can think well.

10. REST WELL. The only time most people rest well is when they are dead. You will now see ‘REST IN PEACE’ written over their grave. That’s nonsense. What has a dead man got to do with rest? You need rest as a living being. When you are feeling down just rest, until you begin feeling high again and then do your best.

11. MOVE. Always move. Don’t be stagnant. Stagnation is death. Keep making progress no matter how little.

12…

Hold on I hear someone calling my name…

“Sweetheart, pls. come to the table…”

Oh, it’s Nne. “Please give me a few minutes. Let me finish this manifesto.”

12…

OMG, she is still calling…she wont let me finish this thing.

Umu alobams, e be like say we go finish this thing next time. Let me go before another person accuses me of being insensitive.

Thank you for all your wishes. God bless you all.

“Babes, please get the wine I need a drink first…are we going swimming today?”